Tuesday, 8 February 2011

oh the pain

i find it really hard to explain the pain.....
just cause i do not cry n scream does not mean i am not in pain
after suffering with extreme pain for 3 years now its not about a pain free day its about how strong the pain is.... if that makes sense...
so i am never without pain... but the levels just increase or decrease and it something your body HAS to get used to....
today was a day of well i want to cut my feet off days...... and those of you who understand know... i was in asda.. and had to lay on the floor as my feet were so bad i could not even stand anymore... let alone walk... and pushing the trolley.. if i was not with JO i would have just left the trolley and left... ....
now as i write this,... is am fine n dandy.... but 3 hours ago...................
well give me a saw... and leave me alone..... and it would have been a diff story

just cause you cant see my pain does not mean i am not crying inside with agony.......

4 comments:

Kate in Oz said...

My dear friend Lee,

I am awake at 3.13am, after just getting Demarco to sleep an hour ago. He had terrible feet burning and pins and needles that just wouldn't quit. I completely understand what you are saying in your post. D's physicians often say to him, "Well you're looking well! You wouldn't know there is anything wrong with you!" He always replies, "No, I've just gotten good at wearing a brave mask for other people. No one wants to see a sad clown all the time." That's so true. When we are at home alone, he doesn't need to say anything for me to know he's in agony or discomfort. I'm so glad that you have Jo and your Mum and Dad in your life - people who "get it" about your pain too. Can't wait to work with you on this type 1 international project - it will be amazing - just what I need. Hugs and love, xxx Kate

Sandy said...

I completely understand. My hubby feels the exact same way. Hearing it from another person, helps me to understand him even more than I do already.

Claudine said...

Lee... Well put. James, my partner has diabetic neuropathy which covers his entire torso from nipple to groin front and back. Sometimes he cannot wear a shirt for days, most nights he doesn't sleep more than two hours, is in constant pain and as you say, it isn't about having a pain free day, it's about having a day where the pain is "tolerable". It would be great to get a support group together where you guys could talk to each other. You are in Hampshire? We are in Sussex so if you want to email/phone, let me know.
Claudine x

Cathy said...

I live in Brighton and my husband has Diabetic Neuropathy and Erythromelagia which makes his hands burn on top of the Neuropathic pain. He suffers every day and is only 44. He says if he was an animal they would have put him down by now. Are there any support groups locally as the doctors are uselesss and I am worried for his mental state.
Cathy